| wow |
[10 Dec 2005|11:55pm] |
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havent written in forever. probably bc i never get on here anymore. i now have an xanga. but neways i have now seen harry potter 4 times in theaters and plan on seeing it again SOON! yay* :) dont really have anything to say.
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| everythings about to change |
[02 Oct 2005|11:09pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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coldplay |
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what is this feeling, something that i cant even explain. why have i been so mean to my friends lately?.. why have i been so down, so depressed. i hate this feeling that i have inside. i hope it goes away very soon. im so confused right now.. im going back to school in january and i still have no idea what i want to do with my life.. is it just me?.. ahhh.. why does everything always have to be so messed up.
me and shannon are not friends, at all. we havent talked in i dont even know how long, a long while. i still stand by my decision and thats that.
money is really stressing me out right now. having to worry about having money to pay all my crap.. and having money for gas and food. blah. also i have a major shopping issue. if i dont buy stuff i get mad and upset and depressed. yes.. thats horrible.. but thats the sad reality of my life.
my grandpa is finally home from the hospital, thank god.. i was worried that he wasnt gonna make it.
bye.
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| you and me are drifting into outer space |
[20 Sep 2005|02:21pm] |
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mood |
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cold |
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music |
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coldplay- speed of sound |
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*taking a break from college was the best thing i could have ever done for myself, even though noone else understands. *im bored because i didnt have to work today. but i love my new job at new york and company. *i need $money$! *i think me and erica are gonna hang out 2nite :) *im still glued to the tv about hurricane katrina, its so horrible, and now theres a hurricane getting ready to hit florida, pray for them. *i dont think my life could be more confusing sometimes. wow, its kind of crazy. *i went to church on sunday and it was amazing, hadent been in awhile and it was our churchs homecoming, it was so spirtual and amazing! everyone was giving testimonies and oh i just looooved it. *im gonna find a new church to go to though, i think its just time for me to move on. *i think im gonna go to chads soon. its crazy how much you miss someone when there gone! ah.. i cant believe im saying i miss my brother.. kind of crazy. *ok, im done.
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| whats goin on.. |
[01 Sep 2005|10:30pm] |
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mood |
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devastated |
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music |
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cnn |
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IS THIS REALLY THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA?
what is going on.. i have never seen so much crap in my entire life! just sit down and watch the new for about 20 minutes and you will compeltely understand my feelings.. this is the united states right?.. because it doesnt seem like it is. i have always defended george bush and right now i really dont even care. people are dying.. they have no food, no water.. its been 4 DAYS! and the government has not made that much effort to help these people.. its crap to me.. somethings just not right..
this country needs god, and thats the final point. someone said on tv today. sometimes god just has to come in and let people know that hes still in control.. no matter how much money you have, technology or power.. sometimes things are just beyond your control.
ive never felt so helpless in my entire life.. and this is just a little part of the united states.. can you imagine if something happend to about 4 or 5 states at once.. the whole entire country would fall apart. wait until the world ends and god comes back, noone will know what to do
everyone.. PLEASE PRAY.
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| i wanna be your hunger.. |
[09 Aug 2005|12:34am] |
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mood |
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weird |
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music |
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dave matthews band- stand up |
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heyyyloo..
i dont even think anyone reads these things anymore.. but anyways.. i just joined facebook a couple of days ago, and it is amazing! if anyone is starting college and has their school e-mail already.. go to facebook.com and join! you'll love it, promise! anyways.. i have all of my book for class except i think like 1 or maybe 2. im real excited, but nervous at the same time! but i know im gonna like it, defiently more than high school. blah, i was so sick of that crap. im reading the 6th harry potter book right now.. its taking me forever bc i went back and read the 4th and 5th, bc i couldnt remember anything that happend. but anywho i love it, but i found out who dies at the end so im like all sad now. :( i didnt want to know!!! if anyone actually reads this thing.. comment?.. i really dont think anyone gets on livejournal anymore.. haha. but whatever
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| heres the thing, we started out friends it was cool but it was all pretend.. |
[31 Jul 2005|01:42pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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kelly clarkson- behind these hazel eyes |
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welp kings island was awesome. me, shannon, webb and corey went.. we had a blast! we didnt want to come home! im leaving tommorow to go camping with my bro, his gf, my mom, and like half of our family is already up there! im really really excited! i cant wait to fish, canoe, swim, roast marshmallows and all that fun stuff! :)))
ive been pretty much bored lately since i dont have a job. all i really do is hang out with friends and read and watch tv. lol, not to much fun.. but im gonna try and get a job when i get home from camping.. oh and of course after our road trip that were all taking. i also need to make up my mind on some things.. wow i always overthink. peaceeeee
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| its been so long.. |
[16 Jul 2005|12:16pm] |
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mood |
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curious |
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music |
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john mayer- home life |
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havent updated in about forever. just havent really felt the need to. i quit my job a few days ago, that place is completely crazy so i decided to get out of there. ive basically just been hanging out with all of my friends and chillen. last night me, shannon, webb and corey went to borders for about two hours.. corey was getting the new harry potter book. that place was freakin crazy! dont get me wrong i freakin love those books, but those people are insane in the head, lol. orientation turned out to be not that bad... im actually kind of excited for college.. well not really college, but out of school stuff. haha. im also excited to meet new people, that should be fun! im so broke right now, i got so much money for graduation and just blew all of it. gosh, im so retarted!!!! sometimes i dont think i'll ever be happy... do other people feel like that? its like nothing and noone can make me happy.. its kind of sad, and i feel like a little brat because im so lucky to have everything that i have.. geeezzz.. life is sucky sometimes.
this evening im going with my brother and corey to sam goody in the mall to the byzantine signging.. my brother is freakin going crazy, in the cd the lead singer thanks him in the liner notes and my brother like thinks hes some kind of celebrity its so funny. so if anyone reads this go on down to sam goody starting i think at 4 or 5 and pick up their album to get it signed! they are gonna get huge.. i say they'll probably be on ozzfest soon, well my brother says.. but that kids retarted. ok bye.
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| you still make lemonade taste like a summer day |
[11 Jun 2005|09:55pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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dave matthews band- american baby |
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now that graduation is over, its gonna be kind of crazy to see how people leave and go their seperate ways. im kind of looking forward to it though, although it is very scary to me. graduation turned out to be awesome. a very happy moment in my life. today has been one of those days when all i have done is cry. i dont like those days, but i guess everyone has one every now and then. i just need to get a grip on this whole thing with my dad, bc if i dont, its gonna control my life. it already has a major affect on my everyday relationships with people and i dont like it, at all. im leaving in the morning for myrtle. dont really wanna go.. i decided at like 5:30 2nite that i was going. yaa.. thats kind of sad, but whatever. i have orentation on the 21st. IM SCARED! im scared of college.. i know its just another milestone in my life but its a very very scary one. i ended up getting a ton of graduation money, somewhere around.. well almost 1000 dollors. which isnt to bad in my opinion. ive spent so much of it though. ahh..i need to stop. i bought my mom a really pretty purse 2nite.. i just cant help myself from buying, its not a good thing. i gg and get to packing.
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| im gonna do for me whats right. |
[01 Jun 2005|09:55am] |
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mood |
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energetic |
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music |
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dave matthews band- bring that beat back to me again |
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*worked yesterday. 2-6. didnt really do anything at all. i got a card from my mamaw yesterday for $100.00. i got a card from my moms best friend for $25.00. i got $30.00 and a really pretty bracelet from sommer! i felt like it was my birthday! :) lol. so far ive got $250, which is pretty amazing, i didnt think id get that much. i am blessed.
*yesterday evening me, erica and corey went to billy bobs (our new hang out!!!) haha. left there and went to taco bell and wal-mart. our other hang-outs. haha.. hey were else you supposed to go at 10-11 at night.
*today me, shannon, erica, shawn and corey are supposed to go out again. yay* :) im excited. my brother burnt the new dave matthews for me the other day and wow its AMAZING! :) i love dave.
*bought the new 50 cent cd yesterday! hahaha. ya, i know im a bad kid. i also got the new relient k cd. mmmhmm! amazingggg.. ok homies.. bye bye <3
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| and i know i let you have all the power.. |
[24 May 2005|06:40pm] |
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mood |
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lethargic |
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music |
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kelly clarkson- im already gone |
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*yesterday we had color day and senior breakfast. it was alright. the senior slideshow was basically of the same people over and over. ya, pretty gay. just gave me another reason why i cant wait to get out of that skewl. after senior breakfast.. me, shannon and erica snuck out, well they did, i didnt. haha. but that was a pretty good time. we went to the mall and hung out for awhile. i went to work and that was boring as usaul. ummm nothin else special.
*today skewl sucked as usual, i cant wait until this week is over, my life will be awesome!! :) i cant believe were graduating this is so freakin insane!! :)))))) but im very scared for marshall, but thats awhile away so im just gonna calm down for now. ok, i have nothing to say really, so bye.
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| it was a beauitful letdown!* |
[16 May 2005|01:24pm] |
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mood |
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creative |
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music |
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switchfoot- this is your life |
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went to church for the first time in forever yesterday. after church i went to work at 1:00 after work i went to nannys house for a lil bit. mannn i hate skewl, i cant wait until i graduate!!! it will be the best day of my entire life! :) haha. i finally got my senior pictures made! ill maybe try and get a few of them on here... but heres some pictures in the mean time.. from shannons journal once again.
( cuties :) )
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| said im gonna have myself in shambles* |
[30 Apr 2005|01:02am] |
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mood |
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cranky |
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music |
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none at all |
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thursday night sucked i had a panic attack when i got home, it was horrible. i guess to much stuff builds up and i just freak out. blah, so that wasnt a fun time. yesterday i guess i shall say since its around 1:00 now. um went to skewl, did my oral report on the effects of second hand smoke! ahhhh. lol. it wasnt that bad though. after skewl i went to the bank.. had a fight with my mom on the phone for about a half hour in the bank parking lot over stupid crap that i dont want to deal with. after the bank i went to the tanning bed.. to calm myself down. haha. sounds crazy, but the tanning bed calms me down for some reason, i guess the heat or something.. ya i know im a freak. umm after that i went and picked up lacey and we went to the mall, taco bell and wal-mart, then hung out at my home for a lil bit. later shannon came and got me and we went runnin around. met up with erica and zach. later on we also met up with some kids named chris n* zach, didnt really know them. haha.. they work at china max!!!! lol. ummmm scott also met up with us and we went to the bowling alley.... went through the riverfront blasting dance techno music from about 6 years ago.. good times there. and i dont even know what else we did.. boring stuff. buttttt im gonna go since im about to pass out from being so freakin tired. ohh yes, i need to change my layout.. im sick of the icon, i need a new one! and poor constantine got the boot.. wowie. ok, this is way to long. bye bye.
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| shes lost inside.. |
[18 Apr 2005|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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music |
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avril lavigne- freak out |
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Examine yourselves to see if your faith is really genuine. Test yourselves. If you cannot tell that Jesus Christ is among you, it means you have failed the test. 2 Corinthians 13:5
i got that off of lauras xanga. and as for myself right now, i feel that i have failed his test, as of now. what is wrong with me.. i dont think ive ever felt this lost in my entire life. god is with me everyday, i do feel him. but why is the feeling so faint at times.. the answer to the question has many answers to me. the people that i live with, my friends, my attitude towards a lot of things, lack of church in my life, willing to really change things to how i want them to be, and just plain out obedience and discipline. i know this one thing.. that if i ever have a child i will make sure they are brought up in a strong christian home and that they have a strong church and people around them that are for jesus. i think the one thing in my life that i lack is just the constant surroundings of christ.. its something that i feel hurts me, i wish more people would know god! just understand how powerful he is! being high on god is like nothing else!! i really need to get my stuff in gear. the last time i felt completly happy with me life was probably about 2 years ago.. and thats when i was just all about god and nothing else. because honestly, nothing else matters... material things.. MEAN NOTHING! it seems at our age right now, all ppl want our boyfriends and girlfriends and all that. thats nice and everything, but why is that so important to ppl! i dont get it.. or why is it so important that you have a 500 dollar prom dress.. and why does everyone want everyone to like them, some people will do anything, sacrifice anything, even their own honest self to make someone like them! i just dont get it.. whatever. but as for me, i have to do this, its now or never. ive drove around allll day thinking.. and i have to do this for me. and thats it, for me and only me.
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| new icon and such.. |
[17 Apr 2005|07:48pm] |
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mood |
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restless |
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music |
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justin t.- last night |
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ok so my last entry did not work at all. im not to sure why, but whatever. we got our cap and gowns on thursday, that was pretty exciting bc its like wow its finally coming to an end! which is pretty damn exciting if you ask me. worked a lil bit yesterday, but i left early bc i was sick n tired of being bored to death. me and mom went shopping. went and had dinner with my family at woodlands.. oh was that lovely. no. um after that i hung out w. kelly, matt and shannon. it was pretty boring bc there is nothing to ever do. today at work wasnt fun either. i saw ryan petry at the mall today that was the first time i think ive seen that kid in about a year or so.. it seriously freaks me out when i see him, especially from behind bc all i can see is eric. poor ecp, i miss that kid, i dont think theres a day that goes by that i dont think of him. boy how things change, and ppl change. wow... i really need to find a new church. i havent been to my church in forever.. its so hard though! ahhh. im just goin on and on, so im done.
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| jesus i pray, make my heart clean, please purify me! |
[14 Apr 2005|01:26pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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led zeppelin- later days cd |
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hi all.
<3 - </3
<3 going to tanning bed today!
</3 im gonna get skin cancer
<3 tommorow is friday
<3 me, shann and maybe matt and i dont know who else are gonna hang out
<3 we got cap and gowns today!
<3 getting my license changed today since i am now 18 years of age :)
</3 im broke
<3 get paid tommorow
<3 college is coming very soon!
</3 28 more days
<3 28 more days! haha
<3 kinds island trip
<3 myrtle beach trip!
<3 this is over with. PEACE LOVELIES
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| in the days of my youth i was told what it means to be a man* |
[02 Apr 2005|03:40pm] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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all american rejects-my paper heart |
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hmm..
*im now 18 years of age.. its crazyyy.. actually not really, nothing has really changed. haha. *myrtle was pretty good, didnt get tan really bc it was kind of cold on the beach. *came home yesterday, went out with shann,matt,a-dam n scott came along later on. meet everyone at the mall, shopped a lil bit! i got a new pair of moccasins for 9$!! we went to the skating rink where shannon almost got into a fist fight with some kids that were like 13. hahaha. niiiice. we went to starbucks and the new bookstore and we also went to wal-mart. *went and got my check cashed today, went and ate with my mom at the mall. *my brother gave me a best buy gift card for my birthday today! *2nite i guess me shannon and im not sure who else is gonna hang out! :) *bye bye
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| im really bored its getting late, what happend to my saturday!! |
[25 Mar 2005|06:28pm] |
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mood |
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thoughtful |
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music |
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avril lavigne- how does it feel |
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lets see..
went to skewl. it sucked.. nothing unusual there. went to eat with my grandparents after skewl, they bought me a shirt and a purse for my birthday, the purse actually isnt that bad. went to the atm later on and saw that i got my income tax money back.. wowie!! very happy about that. me and mom went to target, i bought cute sandles. we went to wal-mart and the mall also, was very tempted to buy, but resisted. came home and been trying to pack everything, i hate packing, it sucks and takes me forever to do bc i cant seem to find things. tommorow i have to work 3-8, then im coming home and i guess finishing up packing then waking up sunday morning and going to myrtle. which is kind of weired, i dont really like traveling on easter sunday, but i guess thats just the way it goes. this birthday is probably gonna suck again. well most birthdays do suck, theres never anything that great about them.. oh well. i just cant believe im gonna be turning 18. its pretty crazy. and i would like to conclude that i dont like my father. alrighty, well im off now, buh bye.
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| blah |
[23 Mar 2005|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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nauseated |
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music |
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none |
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havent been to skewl in a few days. i have the stomach flu, my doctor said a bunch of ppl had it. it was pretty sucky.. throwing up bile and having to take pills to make you stop throwing up is not my idea of a fun couple of days. im thinking about not having my birthday thing anymore bc i dont wanna make ppl spend a bunch of money. sooo i really dont know what im gonna do yet. i might go to skewl tomm, but i may not, im not sure yet. i dont care really bc i only have make up two classes of work, so whatever. im happy that spring break is coming up and my 18th birthday!!! wowie. pretty awesome.. i just wanna get away from everyone in this state.. bc everyones so fake and just gross.. im really ready 4 high school to be over. ok. bye.
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